


People Think We're Rich Vampires (We Are)

by SmileAndASong



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: 2000s, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Immortality, M/M, Protective Gerard Way, Punk Frank Iero, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vampire Frank Iero, Vampire Gerard Way, Vampires, get it!?!?, or should i say fang-rotting fluff???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/pseuds/SmileAndASong
Summary: “What happens if your band becomes famous?” Gerard bites down on his lip with his fang. “The humans, they’ll know what you are. They’ll know you’re a vampire!”“Well, I hate to break it to you, Gee, but in case you haven’t noticed? I am a vampire,” Frank says, dryly. “One with some seriously badass guitar skills and eternity to kill, so why not start a band?”
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	People Think We're Rich Vampires (We Are)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thrchrs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrchrs/gifts).



> This fic is a holiday gift for my good friend, Chloe, for a gift exchange event that we both partook in on Discord! I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill your requests for crime and hurt with no comfort, I'm honestly pretty awful at both, but vampires? Now that I can do! So, please have some cheesy, Addams Family-esque ~spooky~ domesticity, featuring endearing traditional old man vampire Gerard and 'yes, i eat people, so this new emo thing looks pretty cool and fitting' Frank.
> 
> Title (as well as the main basis of this fic) is, of course, from one of the greatest quotes Gerard Way has ever and will ever say. Fic is unbeta'd, any mistakes are the result of my own clown tendencies.
> 
> Happy Holidays, Chloe, I hope you enjoy this little bit of fang-rotting fluff ;)

It’s almost time for sunrise, and Frank’s not back yet.

Realistically, Gerard knows he shouldn’t worry. At a hundred and twenty three years old, Frank is hardly a newborn. He knows what he’s doing, and he isn’t the kind of vampire to take bullshit from anyone, human and supernatural-being alike. He’s from New Jersey for crying outloud. Still, there’s always that unsettling feeling, the worry when it comes to one’s mate and their wellbeing, and the only thing that can alleviate it is their safe return home.

Standing out on the balcony, Gerard paces back and forth, his arms crossed and his long fingers anxiously tapping against his forearm. He pulls out his pocket watch and checks the time. “Come on, Frank, it’s late…”

Shoving the watch back, Gerard perks up as he hears a sudden rustling coming from the forest, just beyond the incandescent pool he’s overlooking. “Frank?” 

He receives no response, but he hears another stirring and detects movement, this time coming from the bushes right at the front of the forest. And then, there’s a splash in the corner of the pool, followed by a long, loud creaking noise from the gate on the lower level as it’s abruptly thrust open.

Gerard, completely unfazed, rolls his eyes. “Will you quit messing around and get in here? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“I don’t know, time for you to get a new watch?” Gerard hears from beneath him. He leans forward to look down, and as he does so, Frank jumps up and perches himself on top of the balcony railing, a smug smirk on his face. “I totally scared you, you should’ve seen the look on your face.”

“Actually, this look has been on my face for the last hour, thank you very much. Completely and entirely separate from whatever that unnecessary escapade was,” Gerard corrects, his tone as unamused as his expression. “And what’s wrong with my watch? I’ve had this for eighty-seven years now and it still works.” 

“Yeah, and that’s exactly what’s wrong with it,” Frank scoffs. “You know you can get digital ones that tell you the time instantly? And you don’t have to wind them up every time they stop ticking! Isn’t that cool?”

“No,” Gerard says, stubbornly. As if some hunk of horrendous plastic could compare to the fine piece of craftsmanship and art in his pocket. He takes a step closer, getting a better look at Frank and raising a brow. “..that’s not what you left wearing.”

Frank’s clothes are...interesting, to say the least. He’s wearing a tight-fitting sweater, of sorts, with a zipper down the middle and a hood attached to the back that he’s wearing up, shrouding most of his face. His pants are also tight -- really tight -- and he’s got a long chain hanging from the pocket of them. Clearly some sort of modern human fashion trend; something that Frank has always been enamored with. He’s constantly cycling through the different styles and trends, whereas Gerard is just perpetually bewildered by it. According to Frank, ‘black never goes out of style’, and considering that’s the color he wears almost exclusively, fashion wise, Gerard is apparently alright.

“Wow, nothing gets past you, Gee! Two hundred and twenty-seven, and your senses are sharp as ever. And Mikey had the audacity to say you’re getting old!” Frank says, not even bothering to conceal the sarcasm in his voice.

Gerard huffs and folds his arms a little tighter. “Mikey says a lot of things that are incorrect, to be fair.”

“Alright, yeah, good point. Oh, wait, wait! You gotta see the best part.” Frank grabs his hood and lowers it, revealing his face and the piece of literal _metal_ that’s stabbed through his lip.

“Frank!” Gerard grabs the sides of Frank’s face and tilts it, giving himself a better look at his lip. “What happened? Are you hurt? Don’t move, I’ll get that right out!”

“Like hell you will!” Frank swats Gerard’s hands away. “You take it out and it’s gonna close right up! The piercer said it needs at least two weeks to fully heal.”

“Heal?” Gerard asks, blinking slowly. “I...you did this to yourself? Willingly?”

“No, I ran into a hunter and he tried to stab me with it. It’s new human, vampire-killing technology.” Gerard’s eyes go wide, and Frank snickers. “Relax, I’m kidding. Yes, I did it to myself. It’s a piercing, you’re not _that_ old. People were getting their ears pierced back when you were human.”

“Yes, _ears_ , not lips. Entirely different!” If Gerard’s heart were still beating, he’d be in cardiac arrest right now, he swears. “Do I want to know why you decided to stab your lip with a piece of metal in the middle of the night?”

“Because it looks cool and it’s in style?” Frank says, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s 2004, babe, you gotta get with it!”

Gerard hasn’t been ‘with it’ for the past century, if not the past century and a half -- why bother starting now? “I’m alright, thanks. Now get inside, quickly, the sun’s going to be up soon.” He grabs Frank’s hand and yanks him down from the railing, dragging him inside the mansion.

Frank heaves out a melodramatic sigh and trudges along behind Gerard. “You’re not going to burn if the sun touches your skin a little. That’s so 19th century!”

Gerard closes the door to the balcony behind them. “What’s wrong with that? I liked the 19th century, it was a good one.”

“Yeah, and it’s full of archaic myths. Plenty of vampires go out in sunlight all the time nowadays, y’know, and they’re totally fine! And speaking of--” Frank comes to a sudden halt, and Gerard stops, looking over his shoulder. “--I wanna talk to you about something.”

Gerard freezes, a look on his face that’s a mixture of inquisitive and anxious. He swallows and nods. “Alright.” He takes a step closer to Frank, still holding his hand. “Anything you want, darling. Go ahead.”

Frank bites down on his lip, right on the ring. “I want to start a band.”

“...you want to start a what?” 

“A band. A rock band, to be specific.”

Now this is something Gerard can follow, at least somewhat. Because while modern human fashion trends remain something of a mystery to a traditional vampire like him, music is something he does somewhat keep up with. In his living days, it had been one of his biggest passions, and after receiving a record player as a gift from his friend Ray forty some-odd years ago, he sort of fell into a lot of (what was then) modern types of music.

“I suppose that explains the sudden fashion change,” Gerard says, giving Frank’s impossibly tight pants and the chain hanging from them a quick once over. “But, uh, why do you want to start a band, exactly?”

Frank shrugs a little. “I don’t know, I’ve been listening to and seeing some cool stuff on the computer--” The most recent human invention Frank has brought into their home. Though this one, Gerard will admit, is pretty damn good. Credit where credit is due. “--and the current rock sound the humans are creating is good, real good, so I thought it might be fun to try myself. Plus, I’ve just been so damn bored lately, like, I just need to do something, anything!”

Ah, boredom. That explains a lot. The burden of immortality is a difficult one to bear for vampires and boredom is as inevitable as it is agonizing. But passions, hobbies, they certainly ease the pain the boredom ensues. Gerard has taken on many over the years -- drawing, writing, reading, curating art -- so it only made sense for Frank, given his younger age, to start to look for some of his own.

But a band? A _human_ band? 

“I don’t know, Frank…” Gerard mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I don’t think I have to tell you the obvious risks that come with performing and exposing yourself to humans..” Or maybe he did, considering Frank clearly wandered into town -- the overwhelmingly _human_ inhabited town -- when he said he was ‘just going for a quick hunt’ and went ahead and let one of them stick a needle in his lip and sell him bizarre (although very attractive) clothing.

“What happens if your band becomes famous?” Gerard bites down on his lip with his fang. “The humans, they’ll know what you are. They’ll know you’re a vampire!”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, Gee, but in case you haven’t noticed? I am a vampire,” Frank says, dryly. “One with some seriously badass guitar skills and eternity to kill, so, why not start a band?”

Gerard eyes Frank dubiously. “You don’t play the guitar, how can you have ‘seriously badass skills’.”

“I don’t play the guitar _yet_. But like I said, I’ve got eternity to kill. How hard can it be?” Frank says, shrugging. “And besides, Ray knows how to play. He can show me how, considering he’s gonna be in the band.”

“Oh? And does Ray know about this?”

“Not...in so many words, no, but it’s not like he’s busy! None of us are.”

“And who's apart of ‘none of us’, exactly?”

“Mikey.” Gerard can’t help but snort at that. Mikey barely knows a damn thing about music, let alone how to play any of it, and he is just as reclusive as Gerard is, if not more so. Hardly the rock and roll type. “And you, of course.”

“What? Me?” Realistically, Gerard should’ve seen this one coming; of course Frank is going to coerce him into his nonsensical desire. “I’m flattered, really, but I don’t think I exactly scream ‘rock and roller’. I…I don’t even have a ring in my lip.” And he is _definitely_ not looking to get one, either.

“First of all, don’t ever say ‘rock and roller’ ever again,” Frank says, visibly cringing. “And believe me with a voice like yours, you don’t need a lip ring to be a cool rockstar.” He takes a step closer and slides his arms around Gerard, clinging to him. “It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve heard in the one hundred and twenty-three years I’ve been alive on this earth...and, y’know, humans, they have such a short life-span. Don’t you think they deserve to hear something so perfect?” 

Pulling back slightly, Frank looks up at Gerard, his big eyes sparkling under the last bit of moonlight seeping through the window behind them. And Gerard, no matter how hard he tries, or how resilient he claims to be, he’s not immune to that stare. He hasn’t been for the last sixty-five years, and he won’t be for the rest of eternity.

“Now how am I supposed to argue with that?” Gerard says, sighing, but the corner of his lips tugging into a one-sided smile.

"Well duh, of course you can't." Frank smiles back and reaches up to kiss him softly. “It’ll be fun, trust me.”

“I always do, even if it’s against my better judgment.” And more often than not, it is. “But before we subject all of humanity to my amateur singing, how about we just focus on teaching you the guitar? And teaching Mikey whatever instrument you’re going to force him to play for your band.”

“Bass,” Frank answers. “It’s like guitar, but easier because there’s one less string. Even Mikey can handle that.”

“Two less strings, actually,” Gerard corrects.

“See? Even easier than I thought!” Frank exclaims, smirking.

Gerard chuckles, looking past Frank and to the window, seeing the first bit of sunlight breaching the starry night’s sky. “For now, rest. It’s late, too late, and considering you lied about going hunting? You’re going to need more sleep to make up for how thirsty you’re going to be tomorrow.”

Frank pouts but he does nod, albeit begrudgingly. “Yeah, yeah...I knew I should’ve eaten that guy at the 7-11.”

“Another one?” Gerard asks as he steps forward to draw the curtains shut. “What is it with you and that ‘seven’ place?”

“They’re really gonna advertise and sell something called a 'Slurpee' and _not_ expect me to come in and do just that? Please!”

Gerard snorts and shakes his head. Only Frank. “Alright, come on, let’s get you to sleep.”

Frank yawns and moves back to Gerard, leaning into his side as they slowly make their way toward the bedroom. “Will you sing for me before we go to sleep?”

Gerard looks down at his mate, his smile growing wider and fonder. “Of course, darling.” He presses a kiss atop Frank’s head. “Anything for you.” 

There’s a good chance that, come tomorrow evening, Frank will have forgotten about this band thing entirely and moved onto his next passing whim. He’s fickle like that. And now that they have a computer and access to that ‘internet’ thing and its endless sea of uncharted information, there’s truly no stopping him.

But regardless, Gerard knows, no matter what it is that Frank wants, no matter how absurd and random, he’ll be there, doing whatever it takes to ensure his happiness. 

His beloved mate, his sweet Frank. Until the end of time, or the end of the stake.


End file.
